Everybody Loses in a Power Struggle
Does your teen or tween engage in a power struggle with you over even little decisions? If so, you’re not alone. For many parents, even simple conversations can turn into a power struggle. As frustrating as this can be, it’s just your child practicing their independence and pushing the boundaries of appropriate behavior.
As hard as it can be to remember in the heat of the moment, your child’s strong-willed nature and confidence is a strength. In other situations, what feels like a power struggle could be expressed as leadership skills on a sports team or debating skills in a classroom. Here are some tips to help you keep perspective:
- Ask other adults that know your child to share what strengths they see in your kid. While you might see power struggles, someone else might see your child helping others or being a student leader.
- Make an effort to catch your child being awesome. If you end up in a pattern of arguing, it can be hard to step back and see how great your kid really is. Be sure to tell your child when you’re proud of something they’ve done!
- Concentrate on the future. How will self-advocacy and determination help your child as an adult? Thinking of the behaviors you see in your child as a positive will help you get through any struggles you might have.
- Listen to what your child is saying. If you take the time to listen to them, you’ll help diffuse the argument and increase the chances your child will listen to you!
- Take a time out if you need one. It’s ok to take a few minutes to collect yourself before continuing with a conversation. Taking a break to calm down allows both of you some space to think about what you’ve each said.
Looking for more information and support? Check out this post from Mind Positive Parenting.